The Kingdom of God

April 7, 2011 at 12:05 am (Uncategorized)

Today in Bible as Literature, I did a little blaspheming. I love that class, but it is 3 hours long and I have to sometimes entertain myself a little.

We were discussing parables in the New Testament, and a big theme is wondering about the Kingdom of God. So I give you some of my ideas about the Kingdom of God from class…I’d advise against reading further if you’re easily offended.

  • The kingdom of God is like your mother…open to everyone!
  • The kingdom of Heaven is like glitter of those black things in the sprint turf…it gets into everything.
  • The kingdom of God is like a can of soda…you really shouldn’t shake it up.
  • The Kingdom of Heaven is like ENGL375…it goes on and on and on…
  • The Kingdom of God is like an STD…you spread it with your love!
  • The kingdom of God is like a penis…it’s growing in size and going to come over everything.
  • The kingdom of God is like a white crayon…it’s hard to understand it’s exact purpose.
  • The kingdom of God is like your gall bladder…it’s somewhere inside, but you aren’t sure exactly where.

 

As a further disclaimer, I think Jesus is awesome. I mean I thought that before, but actually reading the Bible—that guy’s the man. Am I sure that he’s the son of God? Not exactly. But I dig his style. Making me think a lot about what I believe.

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