Bloglicious Goodness

September 14, 2011 at 1:15 am (Uncategorized)

I wonder if it says something about society that there are 25 people available to chat on Facebook right now, but that even as bored as I am I really can only consider talking to like 2 of them? Most of the people on at the moment I don’t know well enough to not be “that guy” that just randomly starts talking to you, and there are people who I do know pretty well but I’m not always comfortable just saying hey to because I would just want to talk about random bullshit and they probably actually have work to be doing unlike me. There are also a couple people on there who have made it clear that they don’t want to talk to me. Which is interesting in the sense that those are actually people I would enjoy talking to, but that’s not an option for one reason or another. The fact that we’re still Facebook friends is another interesting sociological nugget in and of itself. I don’t really feel like thinking about it too much, because while I’m sure it’s an interesting thing to think about, it’s not what I want to write about this evening.

No, the topic that is on my mind is blogging.

“Blogging about blogging,” you say, “how meta and vaguely pretentious of you.”

“Nay,” I reply. “It’s not like that.”

You stare at me skeptically. “Really?”

“Ok, it’s a little bit like that,” I concede.

 

On to the writing….

I wonder sometimes why I blog, and why I care about this at all. Why anyone blogs at all. I mean some people have specific, legitimate interests and make money off of advertising and lots of people read their blog and find it interesting because they have something legitimate to say or can contribute something to your overall knowledge of a topic that maybe wasn’t there before. Or they’re funny, or artistic, or what have you. I read a lot of sports blogs, occasionally artistic blogs, and my fair share of humorous sites (a la the oatmeal and hyperbole and a half).

I’m nowhere near as talented as any of them, I’m just a dude writing about whatever pops into my head in the night. So why do I do it? I’ve identified a couple reasons:

1. As an outlet for emotion

I tend to do my best blogging when I’m feeling something…anxious, depressed, excited, nervous, whatever. I pick some kind of emotional strand in me and run with it. It’s a bit cathartic to write out whatever I’m feeling or let it manifest itself as me wondering about existence. It’s easy to make blogs out of that too, when you write in a stream of consciousness as I do.

2. Boredom

I mean lets be honest, I blogged occasionally over the past year and half or so, but I’ve been only doing it solidly since I started working the night desk at the Idaho Inn. There is something about being incredibly bored that forces you to just think about things and life.

3. Working on my writing skills

It’s always been a goal of mine to eventually get something published, but I would have to become a good writer for that to happen. So I think there’s a little part of me that figures that if I keep on writing and develop my abilities as a writer, maybe eventually people will say “hey this is pretty good,” and I’ll have worked through enough ideas in my head to where I can be interesting, so I could write something. So we’ll see how that all progresses.

 

I think some part of me writes in this blog like a journal, but one that the world can read. Clearly I try to be as non specific as possible when talking about things that don’t need to be public knowledge. When I’m talking about myself, though, I don’t really feel like I need to hold anything back. I would love to get to know every single person who reads this intimately (not like that) and deeply (ok well now that my mind has gone there, I don’t mean THAT that way either). But I feel like if the world is ever going to open up to me, I have to open up to the world. And I would love it if the world loved me, but it’s not essential. I’m getting more and more ok with just being myself, and having that be fine.

If that’s the case, though, it still doesn’t change the fact that I want to the world to like me. I have this need to be liked, and I’ve known that for a long time. There’s something in me that wants to make everyone happy. I blame my mother for the enabling tendencies. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, I just think it’s something I have to be aware of at all times so that I can know when I’m doing it and tone it down if it’s not the occasion for it. For instance, I think it’s probably appropriate to post the link to my blog on Facebook whenever I have a new post, but if I were to post it every hour (someone might miss it!) that would be overkill. I have been posting just the link sometimes in the evening the last couple days, because that’s when you have a critical mass of people online and it gives more people the opportunity to read it. I mean, I don’t really care if people don’t want to read my blog…but what if they wouldn’t mind reading it or might even like to read it, but they just never saw that I had one? Well that would be really too bad, and so I go through that in my mind a couple of times and just say screw it and post the link again.

I know, I know. The fascinating things that pass through my mind. But there’s my blog about blogging. Who knows, I might get bored, or inspired enough to write something else this evening. Never can tell…

 

“I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else.” ~John Keats

 

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