9-25

September 26, 2011 at 12:47 am (Uncategorized)

It’s one of those nights where I don’t feel much like being here at the hotel. I would much prefer to curl up with a cup of coffee or hot chocolate and read a book while the rain falls outside. Instead I can put on my coat and pretend it’s a blanket while I curl up with a big cup of nothing and the internet.

I think my problem is that much of the time, I don’t feel like talking. I feel like listening. I enjoy hearing what people have to say, absorbing it, allowing it to transform my perception of the world. It seems to me that much of what people need isn’t advice so much as a sounding board to hear their thoughts someplace other than inside their own head. It’s not like I don’t have opinions about things, it’s just that I know that I’m going to believe that I’m right even though I may not be. My best judgement isn’t always perfect judgement. So if it’s not asked for, I try not to give it. I think that’s why it would be cool to be a priest. You get to help people and listen to them in a way that is very healing, and there’s not necessarily the expectation that you’re going to give them all the answers. The important thing is being able to get it all off your chest. Now I’m not religious enough to ever be a priest by a long shot, but that aspect in particular does appeal to me.

“Part of what makes us human is what we mean to other people, and what people mean to us.” ~John Scalzi

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately; how different people mean different things to me, and how that fundamentally shapes who I am. It seems like such a basic thing, but at the same time it is utterly profound. I’m not sure I completely understand the ways in which people make me be me. A lot to think about.

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