Catching a cab

October 2, 2011 at 12:38 am (Uncategorized)

Listening to melancholy music (at this particular moment Death Cab for Cutie) always seems to make me nostalgic. Which is probably more or less normal, except I don’t feel nostalgic about anything in particular. I just have a vague sense of missing something that once was there but isn’t any longer. In my darker moments I wonder if I’m nostalgic for the youth I seem to be missing out on as we speak. It’s a Saturday night and here I am, alone in a hotel lobby again while everyone I know is making bold decisions and memories that they’ll look back on when they’re actually at an age where feeling nostalgia is allowed. I’m not upset or depressed, I’m just melancholy, like the music. It’s not a bad mood, and I don’t feel unpleasant. I’m hovering somewhere around the sadder side of neutral. It does feel a bit like my life is sitting in neutral, idling. I am waiting for the rest of my life to get here, even though I don’t know that I want it to get here quite yet. The car (to milk this metaphor) that is my life has frost on the windows, and having it sit here warming up is an excellent plan. I like to be able to see out the windows when I drive. However, I could be going back inside while the car warms up and doing something enjoyable, but instead I’m sitting in the car that looks an awful lot like a cheap hotel lobby.

Writing about myself is all well and good, but starting next post, I’m going to start writing about things. I know, you’re excited already.


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