Togetherness

May 19, 2012 at 11:41 pm (Uncategorized)

It’s 11:35 in the evening, I’m intoxicated for the nth evening in a row, and I’m realizing that breakups suck. I mean, rationally I realize that everything is going to be fine eventually. I’m not worried about being alone forever or getting tied up in my own neuroses or what have you. It’s just that in the present moment, being alone isn’t much fun, and I just realize how much I miss that person. I kind of always thought that by the time I was a little ways out of college I would have found someone that I wanted to settle down with and things would be moving in that general direction. I found that person, but they didn’t necessarily feel the same way about their own life and settling down with me. Which is fine, and I certainly commend them for honesty, but it’s something I have to deal with. I think part of it is seeing that my parents were married right out of college, and just assuming that would be the template for my own life. Your parents set the standard for what you might do with your life, and whether or not you end up following in their footsteps, that is kind of what you assume to be “normal” in terms of what a marriage and a life with someone else looks like. I wouldn’t say my parents are perfect, but I’ve seen a lot of good from them, and I think that as I was growing up I saw the kind of marriage that I aspire to have one day. I also just admire my parents in the sense that they are both kind, reasonable, and rational people. I find more and more that those attributes aren’t the sort of thing that one can take for granted.

Eventually the right thing will come along, and this brief post will seem like an angst-ridden bump in the road. Until then, I’ll just have to try to roll with what life gives me.

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