Silver Linings Playbook

May 26, 2013 at 11:05 pm (Uncategorized)

What is a blog, but a reaction/thoughts to life around us? I just finished the Silver Linings Playbook, which I loved. I have lots of feelings about the film that are traveling in many directions, but there is one thread in particular I feel like following at the moment, and I want to throw down some words because a) I haven’t written in forever and b)the emotion will be stronger the fresher it is. Oh, as a side note this will also probably be colored heavily by the film Frances Ha which is also excellent and which I watched last night.

I wonder, sometimes, if love is available to all of us. Not the love we have for our fellow person, or the planet, or general compassion, but that love between two people that is strong and binding and forever. The kind of situation where (and I am paraphrasing, perhaps terribly, a monologue from Frances Ha) you can be at a party with your significant other, look across the room into each other’s eyes and know that you two share this whole other world that no one else will ever be able to see. It’s yours.

I know that it’s possible to have those moments, perhaps briefly, but to really fall in love and be in love every day. I think that for some of us it’s out there but for many of us it’s not. It’s sad and beautiful. I mean I’ve had moments of really being truly in love, where you love them and they love you and it just clicks, but more often than not it seems that I’m love with them or that they’re in love with me, but we being in love with each other, that’s special. It’s different. For some people it lasts forever, and for others it doesn’t. I’m not saying that it magically clicks and stays that way, I know relationships of any stripe take work.

I guess the takeaway I always have from movies like this is that I want to be in love. I want to put in the hard work. I want to have someone that I can be with and is with me. So far that person has proven elusive to find (It’s hard to really lament forever-aloneness at 22), and I’m not saying I’ve given up on the dream by any stretch, but I see so many marriages fall apart and I wonder how it got there.

I wonder how they were in the first place, I wonder why they got married, why they built this metaphorical building on a metaphorical foundation that was obviously shaky. The scary part is that YOU can be sure, but if the other person has a problem you might not find out about it until farther along. That can’t be helped, but I do think it says something about not getting married right away. It says something about realizing the kind of commitment love is, that you can fall in and out of it and being unsure is many times the same thing as a no. At the very least it should be a “wait and see” kind of thing.

I guess what’s most difficult for me about watching these kinds of movies is that I have the sense that I could be in one of them, that I have the kind of love that is worthy of art. That you could sing or write or dance or make a film about it. But if the other person doesn’t feel that way, then it’s unrequited love, which I will be honest makes me feel silly. Like I shouldn’t invest so much of me into someone who doesn’t feel the same way. We can’t help what we feel, though–it’s just a part of us. I think it’s built into our fabric. A person can’t help loving, or not loving, as the case may be. Or loving, but not enough. Loving, but in the wrong kind of way.

We’re people, we’re flawed, it just is.

Movies like this just give me this general sense of FEELING. I want to sit down and talk about them with someone, to try to make sense of the world together. Whether that’s a friend or more than that is less important for these kind of conversations. I think that’s a part of being human too, although perhaps I feel these impulses more strongly with my strong sense of extraversion.

 

Anyway the movie is great and I highly recommend it to everyone.

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