August 2, 2013 at 10:17 am (Uncategorized)

What’s a god to a nonbeliever/who don’t believe in anything?


I have a pretty standard 2.8 mile route I run, where I turn back up the hill at the boat dock to complete the loop home. Today I got to the boat dock and was walking up the hill, and I decided to turn right instead and keep going on the trail.

I was in a terrible mood last night and I just needed to run it all out of me. I needed to kickstart something in me, fix the lethargy that I have been feeling. I’m at a point where I sometimes feel stuck in neutral. A lot of things are beyond my control, but I can keep running.

I’m not very fast or good at it, but I kept moving. I thought of all the things I COULD control in my life, of what I know I am capable of being.

I thought about dismantling the patriarchy, of loving the people I meet, of doing nice things for strangers. I threw all of the things I want to fix in this world into one big pile and I lit them on fire until my inner light blazed out of my eyes and ears and mouth.

Today, I turned right, and I ran an extra mile and a half. Today, I reignited something. Today I rededicated myself to the things and ideas and people I believe in.

I’m sure there will be stumbles, but there will be more days like today as well. 

Onward and upward.

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