Is Anybody Out There?

February 8, 2014 at 9:10 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

An Open Letter to my fellow twentysomethings:

Oh hey, how’s it going? How about that snowstorm going on right now? Kind of crazy. You’re not in Portland? Oh…well, enough with the small talk then. 

I guess the reason I’m writing this is that I have a burning question for everyone. I’m pretty sure I know the answer already, but I want to throw it out there anyway: is everyone else as utterly lost as I am? Lost is maybe a strong word. Confused? No. Uncertain? That’s better. Is everyone else as uncertain as I am about life? Not in any terrible kind of uncertainty, but I’m still learning how to be an adult. I also don’t know how people functioned before Google. I guess they probably talked to each other more?

I guess I lied about the one burning question thing. I have a TON of questions.

For instance:

Is it OK that I’m still not 100% sure what a french press does? Like, you just push down on the thing and it makes coffee? It HAS to be simple, but I’ve never actually seen it in action.

So I will never be able to really grow out my facial hair, but in the past year I’ve gone from needing to shave every third day to every day. My razors don’t get all of the hairs. Like, I keep shaving, but nothing happens. Why is that? Is there something wrong with me? Am I doomed to forever feel self conscious about stray bits of neckbeard?

On the same topic, why is neck beard a thing? NO ONE likes the neckbeard. Sigh.

So…I usually text people back right away. Did we as a society agree somewhere along the line that we wouldn’t do that? YOU ALL HAVE YOUR PHONES WITH YOU. I KNOW YOU DO. I guess if someone wanted to forward me the memo, I would appreciate that.

I’m 23 and I have an OkCupid account. Does that make me hopeless? I just want to meet someone nice. Why is it so hard to figure out what to write to people? Should I actually use it instead of half-assing an account, or should I just go to more bars? Is it possible to find love on Tinder? GUYS, I DON’T KNOW (though, probably not). 

Does anyone else think it should be cool to ask people if they want to be your friend? Like, I met you, I think you’re great, “hey, so, you wanna be friends?” Like asking someone on a date, but you’re making it official. Mostly I just don’t want to feel creepy about starting a random facebook chat with you. Why do I feel kind of creepy about being interested in someone? Actually I know the answer to that: I really want people to like me, so I am terrified of doing (even completely normal) things that might get construed in a manner to make them not like me. Also, what if they don’t really like me in the first place and have no interest in being friends? That would be tough on my psyche. I guess I might be alone on that one.

Related question: how do I become bolder? Practice? Just sucking it up? Probably.

Does anyone want to start a band? I miss it. Let’s jam.

Am I alone? 

Am I really that different from everyone else? I mean probably not, but it sure feels like it sometimes.

How can I be the person I want to be, even if I feel like maybe it IS different?

 

There are a lot more, but that’s enough for now. The title of this post comes from the album I’m currently playing on repeat by “A Great Big World.” It’s really good. It gives me the feels, if you will. Sometimes I feel nostalgic about things that haven’t happened yet. I daydream, and I am in the future, reminiscing about the slightly less distant future. Music brings that out in me from time to time. I can see who I want to be, I can see the life that brought me to it. I guess the trick at the moment is to start living that life, being more OK with being me. Not just being me, but actively striving to make myself the person I want to be: more honest, more loving, more mindful, more capable. Someone worth being loved by someone worth loving. Someone who isn’t afraid, or rather someone who IS afraid and says “fuck it, this is good for me,” and does it. 

 

Thanks for reading. I look forward to hearing back from you soon.

Regards,

Jordan

 

 

“Although our intellect always longs for clarity and certainty, our nature often finds uncertainty fascinating.”

-Carl von Clausewitz

 

Advertisements

4 Comments

  1. kadaline said,

    One: I apologize that this is probably going to be a long comment. But…weirdly, of ALL the people on WordPress, I somehow find yours. I.e. YES! What is up with the snow?! It’s great though! Town is completely shut down, which makes it fun. (I’m in Portland, too).

    You had me laughing so hard at the phone comment. Right!? They just texted you and you call them or what not and nothing. At least respond with “hold on” or “I’m busy” if you aren’t going to reply for a while.

    Society though has made it so difficult to interact with one another though. Online is becoming more acceptable, but at the same time is still considered creepy—not helpful. I think a lot of people have an OkCupid account young just to meet friends too. It’s hard if you’re not in college to meet people. Though back to the whole creepy thing, at least we live in Portland, where everyone is pretty much friendly.

    I could ramble on too, but I really loved reading your post!

  2. Is Anybody Out There? | TinderNews said,

    […] Read more: Is Anybody Out There? […]

  3. slgreene said,

    Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: