August 25, 2015 at 1:20 pm (Uncategorized) (, )

I’ve been “in” Corvallis for just about a month and a half, but my actual time here has been pretty sporadic between weddings, bachelor parties, and general travel around the NW to see all my friends in such far flung places as Selah and Ashland. In any case, home has yet to really become HOME for me. Still, as things start to settle down I think I’ll probably start to settle in more to Corvallis.

Last week I went up to Seattle for the marriage of my cousin, Amy. Lovely ceremony and had a great time seeing everyone! You’d think that I would see my family more often since they’re only ~3 hours away (now 4 1/2), but life gets busy and I tend to only make it up for major holidays and the like. So this was an excellent opportunity to reconnect! Glad to have Jeff in the family. I ate waaaaaay to much, but that’s about par for the course when you’re visiting your grandparents.

When I think about food, I can’t help but reflect on my relationship with it. As my grandfather stated eloquently last week, “some people eat to live, and some people live to eat.” For the most part I try to eat with a modicum of healthiness, but I will admit that I often have a case of eyes-bigger-than-stomach-itis. I think in large part it stems from the fact that while I was growing up, I could eat and eat and eat and eat and not gain weight. I literally spent the last 3 years of high school attempting to gain weight – lifting, whey protein, eating and eating and eating – and hardly gained a pound. Of course, when I left for college I started moving less and began drinking my calories, and the rest is history. I am not a big guy, but when I look at myself in the mirror I still expect in some ways, I think, to see the string bean in the mirror I had always seen before. Now I look at myself and I can’t help but sometimes get caught up in how I should be thinner or more toned. It’s easy to get down on yourself – I know that my own body image issues certainly come in the context of a society that gives us unrealistic expectations of what a person is supposed to look like, but that doesn’t make the feelings we have less real.

I’m of the opinion that it’s better to have a mindset of being the best person you can be every day. When you have days that are less than ideal, forgive yourself and set about being better tomorrow. That’s easier said than done, of course. The words in our heads can be insidious. However, it’s all part of a larger picture of self care and taking care of your mental state. Keep on working on that, and the other issues you have will begin to clear up as you see yourself for who you really are and not as a projection of the negative voices in your head. We all have value and worth!


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