I Didn’t Plan It

November 13, 2015 at 8:20 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

Plans are funny things. We try to predict the future (with mixed success), but there’s always going to be something that jumps out at you unexpectedly. I’ve been listening quite a bit to Sara Bareilles’ new album “What’s Inside,” which is a collection of songs from her new musical Waitress. It’s really good – you should listen to it. One of the main themes that resonates with me, though, is the idea that life throws things at you that you can’t expect. You can either let that throw you off, or you can embrace the challenge.

I didn’t plan it / but the light turned red and I ran it / and I’m still standing 

I understand it / a story written by my own hands / life biting right at your heels

I used to think to myself “how different can grad school be from undergrad?” The answer is that it can be oh so very different. You don’t know what you don’t know, as they say. Still, it’s an exciting time, and we do try to plan to the best of our ability as to how best to get through it. I’ve decided on a thesis topic, which is pretty exciting! We technically call our theses “MPP Essays,” but functionally it’s the same thing. There are just slightly different semantic requirements, is all. Fortunately, I get to choose what I do my thesis on. Grad school is really challenging, though. Part of that is on myself and my own time management skills, and some of it is because there’s a ton of material to get through. Everyone keeps telling me that the first term is the hardest, so I’m holding on to that. For instance, this weekend I have 2 papers due Monday, one due Tuesday, and an Economics exam on Wednesday (just worth like 30% of my grade, no big). This, of course, on top of my GTA research. One the one hand, what a great opportunity! On the other hand, holy shit this is going to be a busy weekend. I don’t help myself too much by procrastinating on a Friday night, but I tell myself that writing myself into a better state of mind isn’t the worst way to spend it. A little self care is important, too. That’s my plan!

I didn’t plan it / taking back what’s been taking for granted / ‘cuz I can’t stand it / I’m sick of the way I’ve been waiting to break free

I need saving / And a good mistake needed making / maybe you need the same thing

Shifting gears, I’ve also been thinking somewhat about long term plans. What am I going to do after grad school? Am I going to die alone? Is it too soon to be thinking about the post-Grad School dog that I’m invariably going to get? Should I already be feeling guilty about wanting a pug when there are lots of wonderful shelter dogs? Are these really the plans to be making when the final sprint to the end of the term is staring me in the face? Will I ever break my habit of writing entire paragraphs of rhetorical questions? (The answers, if you’re curious, are: doesn’t matter yet, probably, of course not, yes – but I could get TWO dogs…they could be friends!, it’s all about balance, and nah that ain’t me, respectively)

Ok, time to be productive. #notthrowingawaymyshot

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